Hands off, woman.
For some guys, there’s nothing more emasculating than having a woman grab and pay the check. Even if you asked him out. Even if an educated guess puts you at twice his salary. Even if he just had coffee and you had prime rib (although that sounds like another rule completely).
Of course that scenario begs the question of whether you want to be with a guy who is that hung up on who has a bigger paycheck. But if you do, L., my go-to-gal for all things dating, helped me recover from this faux pas with a simple yet effective little ploy. Tell him you grabbed the bill to make sure that he would offer to pay for your next date (hence ensuring that you have a next date). Simple, but it seems to work.
Of course, if you’re dying to bail on an evening out and settling the bill as quickly as possible seems the fastest route to the door, by all means grab the check. Sometimes financial independence has its advantages.
October 12, 2008 at 9:25 pm
[...] This just in….ex-husband is dating a 26-year-old Ukrainian attorney who sent him flowers BEFORE their first date. Despite all the pain and heartache of what we’ve been through the past few years, we actually have a pretty good post-divorce friendship. So when I started dating again, I let him know that I was doing so (mostly so that he’d keep to the pre-determined childcare schedule). Which is why he felt comfortable coming to me in a panic to ask how he should react to Ukrainian woman insisting on paying for their first date. After inquiring about her immigration status (come on…he’s a nice guy and a good dad, but he’s broke, somewhat unmotivated, and 15 years older), I told him I was probably the wrong person to ask. [...]